Tuesday, March 30, 2010

she dyed her hair red

when her heart turned black,
and called it balance.

i call it guilt,
bleeding out
into everything else.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

"we are the sum of all the people we've ever met."

and i am the sum of every person i never did.

Friday, March 26, 2010

questions for jolene

((The concept for this poem was take from Warsan Shire, who wrote the poem questions for miriam Which she in turn took from Caits Meissner, who wrote questions for yusef. So I don't own that. Only trying to mimic brilliance. ))

And yes, it's the Jolene from the song. Ever wondered about her?


did you ever think about the hearts
that you left shattered?
did they ever make you cry?
did you ever set the clocks wrong
so he would stay an extra hour?
did you do it for the time
or for the woman waiting, 
just to spite her? 

who was it that made you hate
women so?
who twisted something 
inside you
turned your body inside out
and made you use it 
for all of the wrong ways? 

did you love men, jolene?
or did you hate them?

who was it that broke your heart, jolene?
who made you so thirsty for blood,
for the sound of hearts snapping,
the sound of women crying
alone on kitchen floors?

did you ever really laugh?

were you ever a child, jolene?
or did someone steal that from you?
is that why you make a life from thieving?
stealing hearts in broad daylight,
under the tear-rimmed eyes of less
beautiful women?

who's was the first heart you broke?
a man or a woman?
do you remember how it felt in your hands,
did the power
make your head rush?

did they ever cry when you left them?
did you open the doors for the sobbing women
out of pity or pride? 

were you kind or cruel?

was each stroke of lipstick
a victory for you, jolene?
did you feel success 
as you pulled your hose up your legs? 

did the satisfaction grow
with each conquest, 
or did they slowly 
become more hollow?

did you have to crush more viciously, then?

do you ever look in the mirror, jolene?
or do you only pick your reflection
out of the eyes of others?

have you ever allowed yourself to be ugly?
jolene, have you ever screamed
like you made other women scream,
have you ever begged?
was being on your knees once
enough to let you know
you never wanted to be there again?

do you ever search for your heart, jolene?
under masses and memories
and ashes of broken arteries? 
do you ever find it?

do you look at what's left?
and does it ever make you cry?

happy today.

there will never be another today like this one. so use it. make something beautiful. laugh really hard. and don't wear makeup.

just for one day, be you.

have the happiest today you can. :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

your children's fathers

you choose your children's fathers,
remember that. 

when you hear his sweet words
and taste his lips
like cardamom 
and cinnamon 
like tea too late
in the afternoon

when he lays you down
fingers in hair
and the carpet burns your back

when you claim love
feign bliss
turn time into blurs

when flesh slides across flesh
and he says your name
one syllable off

but it's beautiful
in his voice. 

when heat comes together 
again and again
and breath is shared
in the small valleys 
between nose
and curve of upper lip

when tongues taste memories
and light bouncing off curtains
shows his innocence,
when he changes your perception
with one stroke of his palm

when elbows brace on table legs
and heels find rest on couch cushions
and his heart is the only sound 
in your mind.

and your moment closes
your fantasy flees
your heart plucks like a string
and he gets up and leaves.

you choose your children's fathers,
remember that. 

lip rings and nighttime dreams

go away, silly boy. just go away.

the dreams aren't worth the fading into dawn.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


i kept every single one of them. 

and yours i keep the closest.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

bedroom eyes

and no surprise.

make me
or break me,

just don't hate me.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


i want to feel my way across your face,
journey down between your ribs,
make camp in the dip of your hip,
and scale the curve of your arm

i want to push my way through thick hair
and emerge on the precipice of your forehead,
i want to skate across your lips
and then slide down your neck

get lost in the plains of your chest,
before i find my way home
to the palm of your hand.


was never a number
that meant much to me.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

you have never been more real

as when there were eight thousand miles between us
when i saw sun and you saw moon
and i tried to forget.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


his mother named him sallow

and his kisses underneath 
weeping willow trees
changed the meaning of the word for you

until his face turned that color
and he sweat hotter
than any summer
and his grip weakened 
then disappeared entirely
against your palm.


he fed her grapes
too sweet for season
almost as sweet
as the smell of his skin. 


a song your mother knew
and dance
to your father's drum
breathe deeply
and smell the old country

and know you are home
wherever you are. 

Sunday, March 14, 2010

you again.

there is no such thing
as other characters 

an actor plays himself
and over
and over

a stronger version
a weaker version
a broken version
a beautiful version
of himself

and again

and again. 

Friday, March 12, 2010

this is my script

and you keep saying cut,
but my head won't stop rolling. 

Thursday, March 11, 2010

let's set you up for a let down, baby.

the stars have never looked so heavy.

Monday, March 8, 2010

six impossible things before breakfast. ❤

this photo is impossibly amazing. so is the girl who took it.

find her here.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

sighing symphonies

she had music in her mind
that just never knew
quite how to get out.

she'd go to empty places
dance wildly in fields
scream into open air

hair rocking round
body thrashing
heart searching.

her fingers would skate
across bed sheets
back arching
breath gasping,
she should have learned
how to play an instrument. 

there was a kiss.
a kiss
of kisses.

out came a sigh,
and there was her symphony.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

who you are

"Don't put that shit on your face."

She glances towards him, then back, and continues.

The silence fills the room, seeps into the spaces between them and pushes.

"It's like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"I know."

And afterwards, she can't remember who said what.

you're about eleven different kinds of beautiful, baby.

don't hide from the rain. it only wants the chance to touch you.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

something like you

i want to write
something beautiful

like a thought
or a word
a snapshot
of a memory

a feeling
or emotion
inside of me
fighting outwards

i just want you
to love it

like i love you.

i fell in love
with watching you
fall in love

your eyes on her hair
the curve of her hip
the way her hands worked

it was a love
of a love

and seeing
and loving
from afar.

you love her